Thursday, August 11, 2011

Oh Fudgenuts

I've probably used that title before but I'm really stuck here!!
I'm in my first rut I think. I'm feeling really shitty right now cause I saw myself in a picture and I feel like I see myself there then I look in the mirror and.... they don't match. I know I'm not skinny and I know I'm fat but I look at myself in pictures and think... "I'm not that fat.... am I?" then I start beating myself up.
"I'm so freaking fat"
"I look like a seal"
"Who would ever think I'm attractive"
"I don't want to go out in public until I actually look okay"
"I want to curl up and die"

Yeah that was about it today. Beating myself up all day. My mom talking to me trying to make me feel better but I keep being a selfish little beotch.
Yeah I need to do some positive visualization and get back on track.

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