My Story

September 17th, 1994 a little red headed baby was born and her name was Cassondra.
That's where I began. That's where we all begin right?
I had a good toddlerhood according to my parents, I only cried when I was hungry (go figure right?) and I was happy. I had a great childhood, playing with barbies, cabbage patch dolls, and beanie babies. Watching the Little Mermaid, CATS, and Aladdin.
Playing on the fig tree out back and using the air conditioning unit as a banquet table.
I didn't really have self esteem issues.
Until I started about 2nd-3rd grade. I was tall, I had big shoulders and well I had extra weight. I also had this horrible hair cut. Since I have curly red hair and my mom would cut it into short bangs, my hair would stand up like a hedge on my forehead.
I also had braces and glasses although I usually broke them so it wasn't such a big deal.
I started noticing that I was large because while other girls were trading clothing I could barely fit into their baggy sweatshirt.
I was an active kid though! With Irish Tap and Soccer lessons I was going every which way plus school. But the more I played the more I ate.

Fast forward to about 6th grade, I was already in a C cup and had acne bad.
I also was well... fat.
6th grade to me was really the time where I socialized since I had been home schooled. Of course it was a Catholic School so it was small. About 5-6 girls in my class? Maybe more that I didn't really talk to.
They were all either the sporty type or the kind of girls who could burn calories by picking their noses.
I hate pictures from 6-8th grade. I had thought by wetting my forehead hedge it would look good, instead it looked like I was a grease monkey. My acne was of course out of control and so was my weight.

now of course there's freshman year.
I hate my freshman year. I hate the kids from that year, I hate the school from that year, I hate myself from that year.
I was trying SO HARD to fit in. This was a small school where cutting for fun and wearing so much black makeup that you look like a raccoon was in. Here's me, a girl from a small school going into a biggish school where all the kids write bad poetry and look like they dressed themselves in the dark. What was I thinking? I was a fat girl with huge boobs for my age and no idea what to do with myself. Of course the only people that I really liked were the teachers. They were great!
Anyways, so I brought my stuffed animals to school *like this one chick* wore long black skirts in the summer and circled my eyes in back eyeliner.
Well I was a wannabe. I just wanted to fit in. At that time I had a really good friend who didn't go there, so when I was being insulted by the douche bags who went to my school I didn't mind cause I could go to her and have a REAL friendship.
Well that went downhill soon (that's a long story for later) and I was left alone, all those insults were waiting behind the wall that I had built through my friend, came crashing down on top of me.
Only four years later will I finally get over them.

Basically if you want to skip all the BS above then just read this:
The shit really hit the fan after Freshman year, I gained and gained and finally in 2011 I decided it was enough. 
I want to swing dance, I want to spin and dance and be caught by some cute guy without worrying if I'm too heavy for him. I want to hand on a future boy friend and not be worried about weight. I want my future husband to pick me up and carry me through the threshold with no problem!! I want my sister to have someone too look up to when she started puberty and begins to grow up! I want to be healthy to have babies! But most of all I want those BAGS OF SHIT who insulted me in Freshman year to swallow those words!