tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87118212071740702722024-02-22T04:00:09.088-08:00The PLUS's Have ItConfessions of a Self Professed Fat AssLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-88609837716188619452012-07-18T14:44:00.000-07:002012-07-18T14:44:03.229-07:00Hey Guys. I think I'm ConvertingTo my other blog.<br />
Keeping two blogs is just a hassle. Plus I realized the more I write, think and occupy my time on weight loss the more I end up eating because of how overwhelmed I'm getting. So I'm deciding to take everything here and put it on <a href="http://uniquewonderlander.blogspot.com/">Growing Up Unique</a>.<br />
That was my exploration of the paranormal, spirituality and whatnot but it's really evolved into something of just a day to day blog (even if I only post once a week) and I think it's just better that way.<br />
So doen't expect to see very many updates on here if I don't take it down altogether.<br />
Love you all,<br />
I'm not quitting my weight loss. No no no. I'm just doing it in a different way. <br />
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Tootles,<br />
LGMbarbieLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-45118173052192811192012-07-10T23:26:00.001-07:002012-07-10T23:26:27.084-07:00University Workout!!<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23nrt9TJp1qzz4z4o1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23nrt9TJp1qzz4z4o1_1280.jpg" width="211" /></a>As some of you may know I'm going to college for the first time this year!! From Monday to about five today I have been walking clear across campus back and forth from the dorms I was staying over night in and the main gathering center where everything was happening. And between that? We went to the gym. Yes I WENT TO A GYM. You know when you think about going to a gym for the first time and you're not bringing a friend and you've never been to one and you think people are going to judge you because of how big you are or because you don't know how to work the equipment? Well I can happily tell you NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING!! Everyone is there for the same reason, to get/stay fit. I saw this guy who was about a couple hundred pounds working out sweating his ass off. I was like DUDE GOOD FOR YOU!! GO!! It's crazy amazing these days how exercise equipment and gyms in general are so high tech. I could watch TV (the food network channel made me laugh XD) while walking a few miles, or on the elliptical also they had some TVs near the stationary bikes and this cool pully-army-butt-sliding-thingy (official name) that you could watch with subtitles. Really? Like I said about no one care how heavy you are, what you look like, if you can work the machines or not. Their muscles are burning so bad they probably don't even notice you. So for all those of you who don't go to the gym because you think people will judge you? Go. Try it out. This was my experience at a college gym no less which is the judgiest group of people and they didn't care. And if you leave dripping in sweaty? Just remember SWEAT IS FAT CRYING!! I never thought I'd have fun at a gym. Then again the only thing I've gone to our gym for is swimming soooo yeah. But yeah that's my gym overview. This again is only MY experience. You could just live in a town where people stare at you and judge you because that's what they do. And really? Just do it anyways. You're there to lose weight. To better YOUR life not better there's. Just give em the finger (mentally since people don't usually like that very much and you'd just be giving them a reason to judge you... yeah). I know that's hard to do. Believe me. I'm still struggling with that but that's a totally different story.<br />
Anyways I had a BUNCH of fun, met cool people, and I am EXHAUSTED!! SO goodnight everyone!!LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-57021920197898517702012-05-25T16:02:00.001-07:002012-05-25T16:02:31.756-07:00Photo Update!I updated my photos page, FINALLY!LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-51044551460153135392012-05-24T20:18:00.002-07:002012-05-24T20:40:32.880-07:00Updates Updates Updates!Hello everyone!<br />
It's been forever since I blogged! Everything has been extremely busy and this was just another thing on my list so I crossed it off. No promises (because we all know what happens when I promise sh*t XD) but I hope to blog more.<br />
Now back into business I am back down to 208. I weighed in at 208.2 last week and 208.0 this week which is pretty good for me! The only promlem and why I thought I was going to gain this week was because I didn't go to Air Aligned (Because I was studying for today's final) and next week is the last week for the WHOLE summer! And worse I won't be here next fall! I'll be in Reno starting college!! So I have to find myself something to keep me active, some friends from my Air Aligned group take swing (of which I have taken before but because of my insecurities about my body I stopped going) and I'm wondering if I should take that back up again especially if I know some of the girls active in the group which would be nice. Plus my mom has promised to go bike riding regularly with me again (fingers crossed!). So if I can pick at least something up over the summer (after I get my license maybe going to the gym for swimming) I can keep this downward weight curve!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In Adele we trust ;)</td></tr>
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Moving on from that, I saw a commercial for Dove I believe (I could be mistaken) that said that girls who are insecure with their bodies are more likely to drop out of sports such as ballet, soccer, and swimming at a young age. I didn't realize that it was such a big percent! I thought I was weird for stopping sports because I wasn't skinny. Volleyball was torture with the clingy fabric tops and tall skinny girls, forget dance with its wall of mirrors, and PE sucked. I really like that they're organizing self-esteem programs to help little girls who are like I was. <br />
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On my third point I would like to write about we went on a 12 mile hike the other day and I could keep up with 9 little girls (It was with my little sisters American Heritage Girl troop) plus the outdoorsy leader. By the end I was sore but I didn't feel like falling over exhausted. You have no idea how happy that made me.<br />
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The last bit of my update is how good I feel. This morning before taking a shower I saw myself in the mirror. I looked at myself and actually said I looked cute today, not just my face or the clothing I was wearing (since I wasn't wearing any cause I was getting into the shower) I thought that my body cute. Stomach and everything. It's good because I like the way my body is progressing. That is the first time that has ever happened to me. Ever. And I hope by the end of this journey I will think I look beautiful.<br />
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Well for now that is all and hopefully after the 8th (My Graduation!!) I'll have more time!!<br />
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Tootles,<br />
LGMbarbieLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-7300788338315545242012-05-06T16:29:00.002-07:002012-05-06T16:29:54.661-07:001 Year AniversarySo I've been officially blogging for one year last month! This blog was started a little later but my first blog is one year old!! Yay!!LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-31581436783898749772012-04-14T14:08:00.001-07:002012-04-14T14:08:08.412-07:00Down Two451 page views.... wow I think they count yourself looking at your own blog but I mean I'm sure I haven't viewed my own blog 400 times.... Anywho! I've lost two pounds this week yaaaay! And I've gotten back into Airaligned after a bunch of weeks missed. I have a performance and it sucks cause I have NO idea what I'm going to do!! Anyways my whole body seems to hurt. I need a chiropractor appointment!! Bleeh!!LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-21412170175795317822012-03-24T22:46:00.000-07:002012-03-24T22:46:32.819-07:00Just Some UpdatesSo nothing much going on still.<br />
Went and saw the Hunger Games on Friday and despite some hiccups in the story I thought it was overall, a good movie. They just could have done more.<br />
Weight loss is okay, haven't really lost anything this last week which is weird since I've been working so hard. Every other day or so we're going and cleaning the horses which is hard work and of course there's Air Aligned on Tuesday nights and from Mon-Fri I clean a friends house so I'm up and active. And my eating has been excellent. I'm getting fuller quicker of course I've already said. I am tired this weekend. Between a project and homework I was working on for Tuesday, Honors stuff, college stuff, cleaning every morning, AirAligned, horses, other meetings, and the movie on Friday this weekend I am oddly relaxed. Tired but relaxed. Which is nice. I'm about halfway done with Mockingjay and so far I'm loving it. I like The Hunger Games best, then it would be Mockingjay and Catching Fire didn't really do it for me. It was more technical stuff that I wasn't really interested in, character development, plans, and politics. Not really my thing hehe. Well Hope you are all doing well!!<br />
<br />
Tootles,<br />
LGMbarbieLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-89167185518701966912012-03-19T20:07:00.000-07:002012-03-19T20:07:33.727-07:00Wait? It's still monday?Yeah I couldn't get to sleep last night. I should have just broken out Mockingjay and I could have been productive but instead I just tossed and turned and talked to myself. And I had to get up at 8 this morning. Bleeeeh. I had to go to an interview with some other kids to talk to the WASC people who give private schools their charter or something like that. Then I had to go clean which was fine. Then I napped for like 4 hours and I'm still tired so I might be able to sleep tonight. But more than likely I'll lay in bed and not sleep tonight. Which means. READING!! Hurrayyyyy!!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cc/Mockingjay.JPG/200px-Mockingjay.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cc/Mockingjay.JPG/200px-Mockingjay.JPG" /></a></div>I got's a hot date toniiiight!!<br />
In other news I have crappy bloating today which sucks. But this too shall pass. I need to cut down on salt again.<br />
Anywho not much to report.<br />
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Tootles,<br />
LGMbarbieLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-75289674466508208552012-03-17T21:57:00.000-07:002012-03-17T21:57:31.967-07:00Good Week, New Job, and The Hunger GamesI'm trying not to jinx myself but after weighing in down two pounds I actually started eating better this week. I think my stomach has shrunk because I find myself not eating as much. As for calorie counting I'm kind of going crazy. I punch everything in and either I'm eating less or things suddenly have less calories. It seems crazy to me because I'm ending up with like barely 1200 calories a day and feeling stuffed. Like I had totally binged. But my stomach has looked smaller and my legs are decreasing in cellulite. I'm kind of proud of myself. I just hope that I don't sabotage myself. <br />
Another piece of info I'm so excited about is I have a job! I'm cleaning an apartment every morning for a dance teacher of mine who is injured. It's fun because I can hang out with her and clean and make money. Just an hour a day for 12 bucks 5 days a week. It also gets me up and active in the morning which is good for me.<br />
And last but not least HUNGER GAMES ON FRIDAY!! I am soooo excited. I'm not going to pretend to be one of those "I liked it before it was cool" kind of people because I didn't. My mom did though and she created a monster. Just like with Harry Potter. Here's the story.<br />
When I was little my mom would read Harry Potter before bed, this was before I could read very well since I have dyslexia. But after I had that taken care of my mom told me I should read them. Now? Harry Potter was my one true love and still is. That was my childhood. I grew up with Harry Ron and Hermione! With the Hunger Games it's like starting a new chapter in my life with going off to college and all. I love the characters and as dismal (and I thought scary) the books were I still think it's great which is weird for me. But I'm excited. A friend of mine is coming with my mom and I and we're trying to dress up like people from the capitol. I bought some gold make up and nail polish to dress myself up and I'm going to cover myself in glitter and draw the mockingjay pin on my hand. I'm going to try to guy these pretty mockingjay earrings at our book store. <br />
Well other than that? I was accepted to my top college which means trying to get all the funds and whatnot together. I'll update later on that. And as for doing a Vlog? Well that hasn't gone well but I'll try some day. Most likely closer to college. For some reason everybody needs me to do something when I try to record my videos.<br />
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Well May the Odd be Ever in Your Favor (hehe)<br />
<br />
Tootles,<br />
LGMbarbieLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-56468101299896212902012-03-08T18:39:00.000-08:002012-03-08T18:39:49.329-08:00AcceptanceNo today I'm not talking about sociaty buuuuut, I have just been accepted to RENO!! I've been applying for colleges and financial aid and trying to stay on top of homework as well so that's why haven't been on for the last few months. But I was accepted to my top college!! I'll be moving this summer!! Good news is a friend of mine might be going to the same school so I might be able to know someone there!! It would be good if that were the case. Anywho. Dieting sucks that's all<br />
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Tootles,<br />
LGMbarbieLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-1128752191497816892012-03-05T00:31:00.000-08:002012-03-05T00:31:51.668-08:00Oh My Gosh!People I am so sorry!<br />
I think I just needed a break but I'm ready to get on the bloggermill and start documenting again. I probably won't be posting every day anymore because of school and other stresses. I'm going to college in around 7 months which means I need to finalize my school and get scholarships together. I HATE this. Deadlines, money, essays, recommendations, nominations, transcripts it's literally like have a part time job ON TOP of my full time high school job. But I can't complain, I'm home schooled and I'm a procrastinator like instead of watching Cupcake Wars and posting on here I should be reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" which I've barely gotten past 50 pages in a 280 someodd paged book which I HATE! Okay I don't hate it it's just not my thing. I would love to get back into reading but if the book is not in your interest how does that motivate you? Also I would rather be drawing. I have a million and one characters bouncing around in my head going "DRAW ME DRAW ME!" Ugh no! Not right now!! Please wait your turn behind Kaleb and Coraline and Hazel and Peter. And on top of that? I'm pet sitting a little dachshund named Pretzel which isn't that bad. She is an amazing little dog and a complete lover. Anywho needless to say my weight is at 214 and hasn't gone anywhere for two weeks.<br />
And of course yesterday I had to buy some bras which means looking in the mirror with only a bra on top. Basically looking at my fat and being reminded of how much of a loser I am. Ya fat ass. That's the pessimistic side of me. <br />
I have three sides, one seems to come out when I'm around a certain someone but the other too are always fighting (Gawd I sound like I have three personalities). Anyway one CONSTANTLY puts me down "You suck," "You'll never be thin" "You're a loser" "Your ugly" "You're a fat ass" and the other goes "Hey ignore that other voice!" "You're beautiful!" "Who cares what everyone thinks?" "You can do it," unfortunately the negative voice seems to talk louder than the positive one. Well I might as well start over AGAIN!!<br />
Hopefully there will be less of a rant/complaining post next time. Sorry for being such a downer!!<br />
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Tootles,<br />
LGM BarbieLGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-44023992880907064762012-01-24T00:52:00.000-08:002012-01-24T00:52:34.589-08:00My Name is Cassondra and I...Am a Binge eater.<br />
You know how they say, you can't fix the problem if you don't think you have one?<br />
That's what I thought, I thought "I'm not that bad, I can control myself, I don't do that," well I'm not as bad as some severe cases but in some ways I'm a lesser case of it. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm angry, I eat and eat and eat. I am so TIRED of false revelations. Although some were helpful I need to really focus on what the problem is.<br />
I've broken it down.<br />
When I eat I think about how good the food is going to taste! I get excited like it's a gift! (And in some ways that's a good thing, I appreciate what I have but that's not the issue here) Then I eat it. I don't savor it I mow down and swallow it, usually while watching TV or on the computer or whatever. I don't think when I eat, well I do just not about food. I just don't worry about anything. I thought of this in the beginning of my journey which has been more like walking in the woods at night with a bag over my head and the trail just a giant circle, but I had a bag of jelly beans. TootiFruiti my favorite kind. I sat there and I took eat one or more at I time and it felt dirty. Like popping pills. Taking drugs. Just dirty.<br />
Why can't I realize my bad habits when I'm eating meals or snacks.<br />
I need help and right now I have to get it myself.LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-11694086885950056862012-01-21T17:44:00.000-08:002012-01-21T17:44:29.384-08:00Hey allOh dreamy me!<br />
How come when one busy time ends another one starts?<br />
I have:<br />
SATs<br />
College Apps<br />
Financial Aid<br />
Homework and school grades<br />
and on top of all that daily teenage hormones oh and dieting! It's been crazy.<br />
I gained a lb last week which sucks. I need to relax, get everything back in line.<br />
I just want to sit and watch my teeny dramas in peace!!<br />
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Well other than that exercise has been below satisfactory, with the fact that I'm only doing one whole day of real activity at airaligned. I would like to try the treadmill since it's finally started raining here. I have this weird thing that happens in my head I think. When I loose a large or good amount of weight it's like<br />
"Oh! Okay now I can go and screw off, overeat and bing all I want because I lost the weight!" really it's like WTF! That's not how it's suppose to work! I'm suppose to loose the weight and be motivated to loose more! Not eat more!LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-26821599223118062722012-01-13T22:25:00.000-08:002012-01-13T22:25:35.903-08:00GAWD!I'm sosososooooo sorry! It's been so hella busy lately and crazy around here! Every time I've tried to record or post a video I've been interrupted by my mom or siblings! GAH! <br />
Well I might as well report my stuff now!<br />
I weighed myself and I am now 209! Not my lowest but that means I lost about 4.9 lbs! I think it was cause I was deflating after Bitch Week before and I was 214 but I deflated and have LOST since then so YAY! Uh eating has been okay... I've been eating goood portions but... my food choices haven't been... up to par. I've been eating Cheez-its and sugar cereal! This is why we can't have this crap in the house! I'll eat it!! Gah!! Well Tomorrow is detox day. I've been overeating a little too during dinner so I need to cut that down and go back on plan. Yeah that's about it.... BYE!<br />
Tootles,<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" /></a></div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-34935247198893644172012-01-08T12:31:00.000-08:002012-01-08T12:31:58.801-08:00SAT StressesAs senior year comes around to the second semester I was having fun! But then... I found that it's getting close to the stop date to apply for UNR and I need to submit my SAT scores.... which I haven't taken yet. Yeah I have two weeks to study for this P.O.S. joke of a test. I have a book from my college counselor and I just got 4 right out of 17. Pathetic right? Well I have weeks to stress about it then they will be over then I can show my college how lame and stupid I am yay! Nah I'm trying to stay positive but it's been hard. I just have to do the tutoring which I really don't want to do and just live through it WITHOUT throwing my fitness out the door with comfort food.<br />
Speaking of fitness it is the second week in the NYWL Challenge! I have a weigh in tomorrow morning I believe, another update is that I haven't gained anything except for like .5 lbs which is cool. I think I weighed in over the break cause I don't remember weighing in at 214lbs.... so that's weird but not as bad as some gains.<br />
I've been eating well for the past few days which I'm really proud of. I haven't fallen. We went to Taco Tree and I ordered two quesadillas like I shouldn't have BUT I waited and ate it today and not all at once. I've stayed hydrated and I've been doing some light work outs over the week. Life other than the whole SAT drama has been okay. I have to go back to school next week BLAH! But it's the last semester of my last year of high school! OhEmGee!! It's so crazy. We're going to tour UNR in March which is really exciting!!<br />
That's all for now I guess. I'll update my video diaries later today or tomorrow morning!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BARGDEBLAHTEHMEGLO!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-54976854491471690632012-01-07T17:25:00.000-08:002012-01-07T17:25:13.329-08:00Haircuts!!I GOTS ONE!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim_PktTM6F8MRdY_PL5UURajxJiUeVnJZJw34Llfuor6pw7W8nnZa-z601QJ55yTH8mZd2PUd5OI1ulz1QSOH2xm2qh-X11zAkwc1VE858FOAg_JJZ_64AHdIoI-iAGoKAu_2S475m9Cey/s1600/ArcSoft_Image21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim_PktTM6F8MRdY_PL5UURajxJiUeVnJZJw34Llfuor6pw7W8nnZa-z601QJ55yTH8mZd2PUd5OI1ulz1QSOH2xm2qh-X11zAkwc1VE858FOAg_JJZ_64AHdIoI-iAGoKAu_2S475m9Cey/s320/ArcSoft_Image21.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0x7i5O35-6S1L9ErYb4LJTj0MTwKwVFtEBwxYaZ-Lj9FTXvHt9wUQU-afSlrnuCgGoa05kA_ZCy-ZB4BRgNAnR8jPl_f000Q8EwA3dH60qADjPNHG0A22_uqa__TK8dlHS7L_2UCXKm9_/s1600/ArcSoft_Image29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0x7i5O35-6S1L9ErYb4LJTj0MTwKwVFtEBwxYaZ-Lj9FTXvHt9wUQU-afSlrnuCgGoa05kA_ZCy-ZB4BRgNAnR8jPl_f000Q8EwA3dH60qADjPNHG0A22_uqa__TK8dlHS7L_2UCXKm9_/s320/ArcSoft_Image29.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB5oaQwZ-mnl2H3SnOxbK1idigBbDSpyEjNmF6syVmOpMAHHvHa5JCED0YMa5Yd-pEjUvikbHJ4x6R3YlIykK0IkUE7R9hR79BU6_c8uT_VO_IfGGyA5gvIUvDm0dEXnjoW8jAcV6xmUeM/s1600/ArcSoft_Image30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB5oaQwZ-mnl2H3SnOxbK1idigBbDSpyEjNmF6syVmOpMAHHvHa5JCED0YMa5Yd-pEjUvikbHJ4x6R3YlIykK0IkUE7R9hR79BU6_c8uT_VO_IfGGyA5gvIUvDm0dEXnjoW8jAcV6xmUeM/s320/ArcSoft_Image30.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After</td></tr>
</tbody></table>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-23361782642976893112012-01-05T13:47:00.000-08:002012-01-05T13:47:02.752-08:00I've Got a Bad Romance!With bread!<br />
I've been craving bread SO hard lately! But with regular sandwiches I've kept it pretty much under control. Of course my dad brought home doughnuts! Not his fault though cause I haven't really announced my gluten freeness. I was able only to take a little bite and put down the bready goodness without binging. For breakfast I had Special K cerial with a colby jack cheese stick and half a vitamin water and now I'm chewing gum to keep me over until "lunch" which should be around 3 since I've been having trouble sleeping and I got up at noon AGAIN!<br />
It'll be hard but I have to reset my clock.<br />
Another change is I will physically write down my calories and watch them as eat. It's gonna suck but I really have to do it this time.<br />
Yesterday was a great day though, I watched my food and I think I did really good along with a little work out at the end with my sister.<br />
I really hope my feelings are right about this year for my weight loss and life in general. I hope there will be a big change.LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-3293996888135959712012-01-01T21:30:00.000-08:002012-01-01T21:30:48.435-08:00Video Up!!My video is up! My first video is up and it is craaaaaaaapy!! Yaaaay! It's kind of weird but I think it's okay for the first one. Uhm I started my Japaneses today but it's pretty awesome. It's different from any other language training I've had. Is that a thing? Language training? Well instead more like mandatory Spanish class hehehe. Anywho it's cool and a lot of fun and I really am learning! I know way more than I thought I would in the first hour. Fun Fun!!<br />
Well not much to report, I caught myself eating a cookie today! No! I'm suppose to be gluten free!! It is my first day so it's going to be hard. I have to wean myself off of the bread I can't just quit cold turkey. That's why they call it a challenge!!<br />
<br />
Tootles,<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" /></a></div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-48581239491799756402011-12-31T18:29:00.000-08:002011-12-31T18:32:18.177-08:00Learn a new LanguageSo just in time for new years I got Rosetta Stone Japanese!<br />
I will start my first lesson tomorrow and I'm super excited. It takes 30 minutes for the first lesson it says and I'm excited for it. I will also do a review of it if I end up finishing it. Which I hope I will. Why I chose Japanese in the first place? Well I know this is going to sound stereotypical but I'm not going to lie. I'm a fan of anime. Ever since I was little I watched anime, I loved KiKi's Delivery Service which is a Japanese movie and of course I loved Pokemon. Over the years I stopped watching until I was about 12 or 13. Since then I've been fascinated by Japan, not just the anime but their whole culture. I collect tea sets from Japan (and all over the world but my first tea set was from Japan) and I also love the kimonos and traditions. Of course my interest would have never came to be if it hadn't been for anime so in a way it helped me discover something that I really like. I'm not unrealistic of course, I used to be. Some fan's think that Japan is complete heaven with no flaws. Granted I used to think that but I began to learn more and realize the Japan has it's faults and follies and whatnot just like any other country. I don't want to move there right now but some day. It's on my goal list hehe.<br />
Anyways tomorrow starts my first vlog entry! I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'll probably also post a tour of my room. I filmed one the other day but my voice was too low because I was so far away from the camera.<br />
OH AND HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.voiceable.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/1920x1200-happy-new-year-2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://www.voiceable.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/1920x1200-happy-new-year-2012.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Tootles!LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-38454819568495583872011-12-30T22:31:00.000-08:002011-12-30T22:31:56.714-08:00Blaming the Mall for OnceFor once instead of blaming myself for being "shaped badly" I blamed the mall for the sizing problem! It's not my fault! No matter how much weight I loose I will always have my big boobs, butt, and shoulders which will make shopping still hard! Today in Forever 21 my mom brought me the CUTEST dress! It was a flowly dark pumpkin orange with little black cats all over it and a synched waist. It's cuter than it sounds really! I tried it on and I couldn't get it past my boobs. Never mind my stomach but my chest was way too big for the little size L dress. Another thing about that store that I now resent is EVERYTHING goes up to a L and a 10 in shoes. ONE size smaller than my actual size. It really pissed me off. It's so discriminatory!! I applaud the stores like Forever 21 for opening plus size but they have a miniscule selection of not really great things that is also secluded to the internet. <br />
One store that I am now newly in love with is H&M. Their prices are SO nice compared to Delia's or Wet Seal. And their stuff is nice modern styles. Another thing is I actually fit some of the things I chose. I bought an ADORABLE little black shirt and a floral skirt there today, I wish I had the money to buy the floral shoes at Forever 21 that actually fit which was weird cause the size 10 in the other shoes were like three sizes too skinny width wise. But I could of paired that with some cute tights and a cardigan. hehe okay this isn't a fashion blog although I'm pondering opening one....<br />
Back onto the topic at hand. Most stores in the mall only went up to the size Large! What the Hell is up with that?! I can't believe how down hill everything's gone size wise. plus my sister can fit most of the large tops and dresses comfortably in most of these stores and she's 10!<br />
Well asides from that and on a happy note I'm a size 14 dress! I took a picture of myself in the H&M size 14 black dress. I will upload it later.<br />
Well I'm tired so I'll talk to you all later!<br />
<br />
Tootles,<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" /></a></div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-28006424537018561402011-12-28T18:30:00.000-08:002011-12-28T18:30:56.989-08:00A Little Name Changing and Self FindingHello<br />
I haven't been on but it's been the Holidays and hectic but hey really I needed some time to myself. You have no idea how relaxing it has been not having to worry about what I'm eating. I know it's bad and I've gained (I haven't weighed in so I don't know how much) but New Years is literally right around the corner and that's the time for resolutions. I know that's kind of following the crowd but you know what over these few weeks I've realized that it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter if I',m following a crowd or not! There are so many people out there obsessed with NOT following the crowd (like "I only read books that no one's heard of" WHAT?! What kind of preference is that!! And I'm not joking someone actually said that to me!)and people who MUST follow the crowd, they HAVE to shop at Hot Topic because that's what everyone else is doing or they have to shop at Abracrombie because that's what everyone is doing. But really we are the crowd whether we want to be or not. We are all in a crowd one was or another. Whether we're in the "I read books no one's heard of" crowd or the "I must wear the latest labels" crowd there is a "group" for that.<br />
If you don't define yourself by anyone else's standers but your own then really you kind of are out of the crowd in a way. Sure there are people with maybe that same philosophy but no one is EXACTLY like you. I don't really know how to exactly say it but really I just need to find my own road. I don't want to think too much about how we all seem to follow some kind of group and if we are all unique then no one is actually <i>unique. </i>Then I get depressed hehe.<br />
But after all this blah blah blah what I'm trying to say is yes I will keep trying to loose weight but I won't let embarrassment about my current size bother me anymore. Of course it won't just be as easy as flipping a switch. I will still cringe at pictures of me or suck it in when a cute boy comes around but I will try to not let it rule my life. I'm trying to change my weight for myself and I shouldn't be judged for that and even though I will be I will try to make sure that they won't define me.<br />
I hope you are all still there, I still have most of my journey ahead of me and I hope by the end I will have entertained and inspired you maybe even just a little hehe.<br />
<br />
<br />
Loves and Hugs,<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" /></a></div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-44556134829548728152011-12-02T12:51:00.000-08:002011-12-02T12:51:13.529-08:00I'm BaaaaackHey all!<br />
I am soooo sorry I've been MIA lately! As I think I posted before my computer crashed. I thought it was going to be a simple fix but instead I had to go through the insurance process to get a new one. Yep new computer!! So here I am again!!<br />
I guess I should update a little. Last time a weighted in I was 206 again!! That was a loss of 3lbs I think the week i weighed in so that is good.<br />
I've changed my plan again, I think for the better. Before I was overeating then being like "Oh well let's just go work my ass off" well that would just balance my weight out or not even help it. Now I'm working out a min of 3 times a week and I've added some new little things to my workouts. Because of the weather and the winter coming I haven't been able to get out and ride or walk so instead on Sundays we're going to the horses and I'll ride there.<br />
Now you might think "Riding a horse? HA! That's not a workout!" well then I say HA to you! and another HA! Because my thighs and stomach muscles hurt like HELL for three days afterwards! You have to grip with your legs and keep yourself up with her stomach muscles. At the time you won't notice it but afterwards you will.<br />
Another thing is AirAligned <br />
What is this you ask? Fist off I did my first lesson on Monday and my whole body still hurts today ON FRIDAY!!<br />
Second here is the basics, I've only learned the first three moves she does (except I was able to touch the ground and I wasn't up in the air yet)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/0pbn8XkW68Y?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Of course to my favorite band Evanescence.<br />
But this is working your WHOLE DAMN BODY! You're basically lifting your body weight into the air which for me means hoisting 206 lbs into the air by my arms or legs. Yeah it's intense but its HELLA FUN!! I've always wanted to do gymnastics but I always thought I was way too fat and I have no upper body strength. But I joined this because I have two friends from school who help and participate in the class and my little sister is in it too.<br />
It's really fun but REALLY rare at least I think...<br />
Of course all the other girls other than my friends who are average height and weight, are like 90lbs soaking wet and have been doing this for a little while. Great. Little girls in leotards and me.... yeah but its not competitive, the girls are really nice so far and there is no judgment. Over these last few weeks I realized that even if I get dirty look from people who think I'm to fat to workout or whatever they think (I mean really why would you think like that?!) I find that I'm there for myself not them and I am there to loose weight. So screw them and their negative thoughts and feelings. I'm here to make myself better not to make them happy.<br />
So that's all for now<br />
Tootles,<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" /></a></div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-17491087890722163492011-11-11T17:53:00.000-08:002011-11-11T17:53:59.286-08:00Hi AgainSorry!! I haven't been on lately because of my missing computer. I haven't gotten it back and I don't think I will because it might be shot... ugh!! On the diet front I LOST 1.5 LBS THIS WEEK!! Yaay!! My trick this week? I focused on my eating! Crazy right? The past weeks have been bad because I'm trying to compensate for my bad eating with exercise then I give up on some days. But this week I've been watching my eating, not soda still (Even when eating out!!) and I have been eating meals and not just snacking.<br />
Next I'm going to work on eliminating candy, like lollipops, chocolate, sour patch and whatever. I want to make something that tracks my sugar intake. Like I can only have a candy bar or no dessert unless its after dinner, counting how many cookies I eat instead of just eating and then guessing. Once I have gotten into good solid eating I will focus back on good exercises and normal exercise habits. <br />
Let's see I would also like to actually start looking at professional blogs and see how they talk and write. I want to start making my blog look pretty in the way I write instead of just writing like it's a public journal and putting as much thought into it as a Facebook status.<br />
Hopefully there is better posts to come and welcome to new readers!! Hope there's more to come!!<br />
<br />
Tootles,<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" /></a></div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-89785405156172114192011-11-07T23:21:00.001-08:002011-11-07T23:35:12.906-08:00Computer be Gone<div><p>And come back as a super gaming computer that is super de duper fast. Yeah my computer wont start so im banned to my phone for blog posts. On the diet game I think its doing well. My mind has been on top of my eating which is good for once. Im counting how many cookies I have and I ACTUALLY got a vitamin water instead of soda today! Im so happy! My no soda streak has been the longest so far! I need to mark my streak down. Workout is okay. I went shopping today which is nice. I got new shoes and some winter clothing. Size 16 fits comfortably across all brands which was nice and my thighs are a lot smaller now. But we were out late so I didn't get to workout. Tomorrow though I plan to have a nice regular workout since I had 4 1/2 miles yesterday because I was sick I didn't do the full 6. <br>
So that's what's up. <br>
Ttyl hopefully on my computer!<br>
Tootles,<br>
LGMBarbie</p>
</div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8711821207174070272.post-48786988641483275822011-11-06T20:37:00.000-08:002011-11-06T20:37:51.147-08:00Can I Have a Medical Leave for a Broken Heart?From school? I guess not since it was more of a self inflicted heartbreak. I know why it's called having a Crush because when you find out that they are infinitely happy with someone else it Crushes you. I knew it would happen, I hoped it wouldn't, but it did. It was the same one who I thought I saw in town and well it was confirmation and I fell ridiculous for hoping it wasn't. I thought I would keep my composure but I didn't when I went to bed. It just let it out and damn it felt good. Would of felt better if I had someone to let it out to but beggars can't be choosers right?<br />
Well for more shitty news I gained .9 lbs. Thank God it wasn't more but still it was a gain. I'm super determined now though because of my broken heart. For once I'm not sitting there eating ice cream and crying my eyes out like this: <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/009/f/a/Chocolate_Icecream_by_B1nd1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="317" src="http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/009/f/a/Chocolate_Icecream_by_B1nd1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">http://b1nd1.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=120#/d2h750d</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table> (P.S. Check out the link, B1nd1 is an amazing artist)<br />
Instead I want to loose the weight. So if someone comes along that I like I will have the confidence to talk to them AT LEAST!! The last few days haven't been real good either, I got sick so exercising has been crap. I got a few minutes in on the BowFlex yesterday and 31/2 miles today on the bike. eating has been on track for the most part so it's been good. <br />
Well that's all I have to say hehe. I feel okay emotional and sickness wise so... lets hope tomorrow is better.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Tootles,<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54489/304/B30077463A6F0F2A241898C35FBE2F63.png" /></a></div>LGM Barbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15591561637328089163noreply@blogger.com0