Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Time to beat myself over the head with a mallet! Yay! A spectacle that you can all enjoy!! So I didn't gain nor loose anything last week so that should be motivation to stay on track and keep going right? Wrong.
Between Pie and Ice Cream for breakfast and KFC for dinner today was a bad day to be on a diet. This isn't just weight loss, it's detoxing and relapsing. It's an addiction, it really is! I always knew that people had food addictions, and like drugs or alcohol some people need help in getting off of it. And when I say people I say me.
Sure there's those fancy weight loss camps that if your rich you can truck your fat ass off to and get skinny and that's all fine and great. Good for you! But for those of us who don't have the time or money well rehab is just not an option, and yes I know the people who go there have emotional problems and need counseling and stuff. And I have no problem with them really I don't! I find it inspirational when they loose all the weight but.... I'm only 16, I don't have the resources, time, or money to hike my fat ass to a nice rehab center where they take the crap away and help me ease into the healthy lane. I have to do it myself.
There are no pills
There are no shots
I can walk into a grocery store, I don't need to find a drug dealer
I don't need to go to a bar
I don't need to be a certain age
We can go anywhere and get food see food
It's not illegal to eat food
Food is the cheapest, safest, and easiest addiction to obtain.
I don't think people realize that. They look at someone over weight and write them off as lazy and sloppy. I watched Taboo about Sizes I believe. They said a survey showed that people are completely sexist of fat people. They look at pictures of overweight men and say things such as "Cuddly, warm, sweet," and see a woman and say "Lazy, Slob, Ugly"
I guess I'm just ranting since I'm angry at myself.
And I'm finally admitting to, Yes I have a problem. I'm addicted to food.
I read about thinking before eating. Rather then just compulsively eating. And I've found that I fight myself.
"I don't need it,"
"I shouldn't be eating this,"
"I should just do the smaller order,"
"Just eat half"
Then my other half says
"C'mon it's just a little,"
"You deserve it,"
"You've been good,"
"You'll just burn it off when you go for your walk,"

Yeah it's bad. Like I said it's an addiction. I want my hit, I give excuses to get my figurative "high" then I regret it. Although I haven't found myself eating because of emotion, I just want it. Although I could be, it's a possibility. I usually eat out of boredom.
So that's my ranting for today.

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