SAT Stresses

As senior year comes around to the second semester I was having fun! But then... I found that it's getting close to the stop date to apply for UNR and I need to submit my SAT scores.... which I haven't taken yet. Yeah I have two weeks to study for this P.O.S. joke of a test. I have a book from my college counselor and I just got 4 right out of 17. Pathetic right? Well I have weeks to stress about it then they will be over then I can show my college how lame and stupid I am yay! Nah I'm trying to stay positive but it's been hard. I just have to do the tutoring which I really don't want to do and just live through it WITHOUT throwing my fitness out the door with comfort food.
Speaking of fitness it is the second week in the NYWL Challenge! I have a weigh in tomorrow morning I believe, another update is that I haven't gained anything except for like .5 lbs which is cool. I think I weighed in over the break cause I don't remember weighing in at 214lbs.... so that's weird but not as bad as some gains.
I've been eating well for the past few days which I'm really proud of. I haven't fallen. We went to Taco Tree and I ordered two quesadillas like I shouldn't have BUT I waited and ate it today and not all at once. I've stayed hydrated and I've been doing some light work outs over the week. Life other than the whole SAT drama has been okay. I have to go back to school next week BLAH! But it's the last semester of my last year of high school! OhEmGee!! It's so crazy. We're going to tour UNR in March which is really exciting!!
That's all for now I guess. I'll update my video diaries later today or tomorrow morning!

BARGDEBLAHTEHMEGLO!

Hi Again

Sorry!! I haven't been on lately because of my missing computer. I haven't gotten it back and I don't think I will because it might be shot... ugh!! On the diet front I LOST 1.5 LBS THIS WEEK!! Yaay!! My trick this week? I focused on my eating! Crazy right? The past weeks have been bad because I'm trying to compensate for my bad eating with exercise then I give up on some days. But this week I've been watching my eating, not soda still (Even when eating out!!) and I have been eating meals and not just snacking.
Next I'm going to work on eliminating candy, like lollipops, chocolate, sour patch and whatever. I want to make something that tracks my sugar intake. Like I can only have a candy bar or no dessert unless its after dinner, counting how many cookies I eat instead of just eating and then guessing. Once I have gotten into good solid eating I will focus back on good exercises and normal exercise habits.
Let's see I would also like to actually start looking at professional blogs and see how they talk and write. I want to start making my blog look pretty in the way I write instead of just writing like it's a public journal and putting as much thought into it as a Facebook status.
Hopefully there is better posts to come and welcome to new readers!! Hope there's more to come!!

Tootles,

Broke Ass

And not just money wise. My butt hurts!! From ridding mah bike. Yay I worked out today and I ate right!! Finally! Now lets see if we can keep this up, especially for the next few days which at the time i'm usually working out I'll be at the haunted house doing make up. I rode 6 miles today though, and tomorrow is weigh in. I not looking forward to it. I look bigger today and feel bigger today which sucks, but I'm bracing for the + sign, I hope OH I HOPE it will be - but I won't be completely destroyed if its a +. I think that's why I gave up last time, I had been doing so well then out of the blue I gained three then four then five pounds.
Ugh I hope tomorrow will start off good with a loss!!

Good Workout and PAINTS!

If you don't already know I'm an art student and always will be. But today I finally got my paints!! I have two canvases and some obscure colored painted but I went and got the "rainbow" colors and some glitter!! Yay!! I'm going to pain tonight maybe but when I finish it I'll scan it and show everyone!!
In other news I had a GREAT workout today but my eating.... sucked. It's like when I'm hungry and craving stuff it's like my mind goes blank. Lately I've been working towards fitting into this dress I own from my 8th grade graduation. It's really beautiful and timeless but I don't fit it. If I can't get the dress for my CDC then my goal will be to fir into that again.
I kicked ass with my workout today, I biked for 30-40 minutes then walked for another 20 then did my Bowflex for 10 minutes. That was good.
This is also my 100th post...
IDK WHAT TO DO!! I wish I could do a giveaway but I don't have anything and if I did I don't have the money to cover postage.
soooo.... OH
Does anyone want to get a picture done for them? I'm not too good with life like or animals but I can do some nifty stuff... I don't know if anyone would be interested but yeah that's all I can do lolololol.

Anywho Evanescence day 18

Your Star by Evanescence Fan Video

Tootles,

Oh My Sweety Pie

Today I think I was a bad girl.
I mean I slacked on working out for some reason. Grrr.
Of course it's BITCH WEEK again.
I mean wtf?! It's been like two weeks since the last one. Oh whatever.
But tomorrow is going to be work my ass off day. Possibly doing biking and walking both.
Let's hope *fingercross*
Oh well.
Here's day 12 of Evanescence

Evanescence's Missing unofficial video

Tootles,

Christmas Dress, Old Shorts, and Art Tour

A very very good day today.
I woke up at like 10 or so, ate got dressed and there is where the first good thing happened. It was hot today (Thank got it's not in the 90s but for fall it was hot out) so I was looking for shorts. I couldn't find my shorts so I looked in this pile of sweatshirts. I found an old pair of shorts. I don't know what possessed me to put them on but I did. I wasn't even thinking. I just wanted shorts! These shorts haven't fit me in years. I haven't looked at the tag so I don't know what size they are. But it was an amazing feeling. No shimmying, no sucking in, no stuffing. Just sliding in and zipping up. It was amazing. I bounced around my room. I left the house feeling awesome. I also ate right and well that leads me to my next subject which is the Art Tour. All today we went around our town to different studios, talked to people, I had an assignment to interview three artists and take pictures. Well we went to about 6 different places one of them featuring around 10 artists by itself. In all we saw about 24 artists today. It was so much fun and it really solidified my decision of being an art student. I think, when you can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to do what you do, is when you know you are in the right place. I also finally have ideas for what I want for Christmas. Because of limited funds we have to put things on layaway now for Christmas that way we can HAVE a Christmas.
And that brings us to The Christmas Dress Update, with the shorts thing I think it's going really well. I mean I've at least dropped a size in shorts so how is the rest of me going? Plus my tops are looser so yeah good good.

And for day 8 and 9!! (Ya see what happens is I open up a new post and go to write and sometimes write a little something then close it and think I post it so whatev.)

This is Before the Dawn which is from Evanescence's first album I believe. Enjoy!!

This is Lies which is another from their first albums. These also aren't official videos either so yeah.

Tootles,

Eat More Chocolate, Have Less Strokes

Yeah I saw this on this mornings news that said women who ate more chocolate were less likely to have a stroke. Hahahaha I like it.
Anywho today was intense workout day. I biked at least two miles, but most of it was uphill. It was gradual and it sucked but I felt really accomplished by the end and was able to fly down the other side. I only got off once to walk my bike up the hill. Then after I walked a half a mile afterwards. Needless to say I was sweaty after and I did a few minutes on the bowflex after. I really hope this is all paying off. I'll be weighing in on Friday so it will be a whole week. *fingers crossed*
Other than that I had an awesome day at school, had fun. I also finished my math which is awesome. All my teachers liked my hair, said I looked very Rosie Riveter which was cool since that was what I was going for. So all in all a good day!!

Day Four of Evanescence Month with My Immortal

Tootles,

BoFlex, Yes or No?

So a friend just offered us a new never been used BoFlex, idk how it's spelled but I'm really thinking about saying yes. It's got these cool ankle things if I remember correct which would help with strengthening my knee. I've been looking for something to help with my workout and what happens? Blessings eh? So I think I'm going to tell my dad yes (since he asked me if I could use it) and we can put it in the sun room! Then I can walk on our treadmill and do the bowflex! I hope this works out.
What do you all think? Should I? Have you ever had a friend use one or used one yourself? If so how was it?
Update later!!
Byebye!

Sucky New Day

Yeah.
So today ended suckishly. It was a great morning, where I actually woke up before noon, I ate a good breakfast (Other than discovering that the bacon was bad X<) then I had a nice lunch at an appropriate time. Then everything went down hill. I made a homemade Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo, the sauce is basically made of milk and fat. I ate so much of that (cause well I love my own food XD). So then I went on a walk came back and did some crunches. I'm finding that by the time that I'm on the floor for my other exercises I really REALLY don't want to do it!! My body is like rebelling against it!. So I think what I'm gonna have to do it do the treadmill and do 2 miles one day then a shat load of calisthenics.  I think I'm just at that point now so yeah!

it's really frustrating.
Let's revisit Mr. Armstrong.
.
.
.
.
.
Okay I feel better!!

Bitch Week is being a... Well Bitch

Yeah, that about rounds it all out.
I am having almost everything that comes with Bitch Week. I'm bloating and retaining water like no ones business, I'm having the worst mood swings, I'm fatigued, acne and of course the hall important main point of Bitch Week. It's just so angering!!
I mean I don't have cramps THANK GOD! But really?
Not only are women cursed with acne, cramps, and whatever other shit they can throw at us but they give us mood swings and make us fat...ER! Really? I'm already fat enough now you bloat me and curse me with a bad attitude? Nice. Just nice.
I really don't want to be out in public until this is over but I have to cause of the Draft Horse Classic and my brothers working there.
And of course they have yummy fatty food. Garlic fries, cotton candy, caramel corn, shiz like that. AND THEY HAVE A PIE STAND!! OMFG!! Want want want!! And shaved ice, but thats like low calorie right? It's ice which is frozen water and my favorite bubblegum flavoring!! So yeah that's what's going on.

Beautiful Birthday

I had an A-MAZ-ING birthday with mah fam. And not a MFP, measuring tape, or scale in site!! And dammit it was such a fabulous time!! I felt normal and not stressed. It was like a totally new life. I can't wait till the day I don't have to pour over this shit.

Great Great Day!

So I was home alone for the night since my family went camping, I didn't sleep very well and didn't get out of bed until noon, but when I got up I had a fiber one chewy bar and then I walked 7/10ths of a mile on the dreadmill then I showered and ate breakfast. I felt so proud of myself!! I'm going to go for an actual walk tonight since it's so nice outside!! It is cloudy and cool, and NOT HUMID! Which means it's so freaking awesome outside. SO I'm going to take the small doggy out (He freaking loves his walks! He gets so excited!) and go around the neighborhood, I'm not going to let the numbers get me down this time. My mom said that for a few weeks instead of weighing in we'll measure in. It's not as accurate for me but we'll see what the numbers say in a few weeks. Let's hope their good! I'm also detoxing from soda, I haven't had one in two days which is good, I'm having tea instead which is nice.

Shopping!!

So my Birthday is only about a week away and today I went to walmart with my mom, it wasn't really birthday shopping but I got a few little things. Well technically I didn't "get anything" wink wink nudge nudge. But I got some replacement make up and stuff. But I walked a lot then I went for a walk at home in the steamer that was the outside world. Then I did my workout and now I'm going to go drink some magic drank that helps me sleep. night night.

Didn't Post

Most Likely over ate. Shit.
So today has been good so far, only had a sandwich and a slice of lemon bread. But I think I'm having pizza for dinner so that'll be s dump on my diet oh and guess what! No walk! Yeah No walk! Know why? Cause we have to truck out to a freaking hell hole on earth for a long ass promotion for my sister. Not that I don't love my sister and am glad shes ranking up and all that shiz but I really don't want to go out there. Really don't.

Hello Again

Yeah I'm here again my life has been totally thrown off with our houses owner coming to town. We have to clean the house like crazy so I haven't been going on my walks. Sooooo I've been doing my sit ups and shit. Also I filled a laundry detergent bottle with water to I guess.... simulate a weight. Yeah I'm "Toning" my arms for basically free.
So yeah I need to get back on track, not the track you might think though. I've been eating right and trying to exercise as much as I can I just need sleeping and homework to be worked into my sched.
I'm watching EASY A OMG I COULDN'T WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE TO COME OUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Monday Weigh In

So, today was weigh in
And
the
weight
was
*drumroll*
210!!
I HAVE LOST 16LBS ALL TOGETHER AND 3.5 LBS THIS WEEK!!
ohemgee you have no idea how happy I am to hear that!! Just last night I kicking my ass, calling myself fat, loser, blob. And woke up depressed cause of bad dreams and bad sleep (I slept better on a blow up mattress in the woods) so I thought, might as well just weigh in.
I guess you do get rewarded for being good.
And all that swimming probably didn't hurt.

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!

Time to beat myself over the head with a mallet! Yay! A spectacle that you can all enjoy!! So I didn't gain nor loose anything last week so that should be motivation to stay on track and keep going right? Wrong.
Between Pie and Ice Cream for breakfast and KFC for dinner today was a bad day to be on a diet. This isn't just weight loss, it's detoxing and relapsing. It's an addiction, it really is! I always knew that people had food addictions, and like drugs or alcohol some people need help in getting off of it. And when I say people I say me.
Sure there's those fancy weight loss camps that if your rich you can truck your fat ass off to and get skinny and that's all fine and great. Good for you! But for those of us who don't have the time or money well rehab is just not an option, and yes I know the people who go there have emotional problems and need counseling and stuff. And I have no problem with them really I don't! I find it inspirational when they loose all the weight but.... I'm only 16, I don't have the resources, time, or money to hike my fat ass to a nice rehab center where they take the crap away and help me ease into the healthy lane. I have to do it myself.
There are no pills
There are no shots
I can walk into a grocery store, I don't need to find a drug dealer
I don't need to go to a bar
I don't need to be a certain age
We can go anywhere and get food see food
It's not illegal to eat food
Food is the cheapest, safest, and easiest addiction to obtain.
Comparatively.
I don't think people realize that. They look at someone over weight and write them off as lazy and sloppy. I watched Taboo about Sizes I believe. They said a survey showed that people are completely sexist of fat people. They look at pictures of overweight men and say things such as "Cuddly, warm, sweet," and see a woman and say "Lazy, Slob, Ugly"
I guess I'm just ranting since I'm angry at myself.
And I'm finally admitting to, Yes I have a problem. I'm addicted to food.
I read about thinking before eating. Rather then just compulsively eating. And I've found that I fight myself.
"I don't need it,"
"I shouldn't be eating this,"
"I should just do the smaller order,"
"Just eat half"
Then my other half says
"C'mon it's just a little,"
"You deserve it,"
"You've been good,"
"You'll just burn it off when you go for your walk,"

Yeah it's bad. Like I said it's an addiction. I want my hit, I give excuses to get my figurative "high" then I regret it. Although I haven't found myself eating because of emotion, I just want it. Although I could be, it's a possibility. I usually eat out of boredom.
So that's my ranting for today.

Bitch Week!

Yep it's that time again! I'm actually glad that it is, I only weighed myself like 2 days ago? Which means I was already bloating. I know that's an excuse for not loosing weight in the last two weeks but hey, we all make excuses right? So that's that, I'm finally making a come back with my walking, I got started late last night so I didn't go the full mile maybe half. But today I did a whole!! It was a lot harder getting back into the swing of things. EatingS been under control but I have been getting HELLA CRAVINGS at night. I didn't really think about it then realized that it's THE WEEK.
So I hope there are no guys reading this and cringing but hey it happens.

Running and Chickens

So first order of business on this second post of the day was running. I saw a poster today for the 9/11 5k run. I think I know what my aim is for next year. My birthday is Sept 17th so that's my 18th birthday wish (next year) is to walk it. Hopefully. Maybe even jog some. I mean I have a whole year to do it so you never know! I could be a runner by then but ya never know!! So that's for running and the next order is.

Chickens
Now I really want to educate people on this.
I had a lot of questions during the fair about the different kinds of birds.
Now take your standard Buff Orpington

This is a normal everyday chicken, now this is not the same thing as a Cornish Meat Hen. These typically are what I like to call "Pet" chickens or egg laying chickens. They eat bugs and lay eggs and well are for the most part friendly. We do NOT eat these. At least most people don't unless they are the main source of food. Other chickens like this either lay eggs or are show chickens. And for the most part are not eaten.

Now these chickens are meat chickens, they are grown for meat. They are genetically made to be meat chickens, they only live for a few months, if their lucky a year. When they grow to a certain age they need to be butchered, and I mean NEED to be butchered. They begin to break down, their feathers begin to fall out, they get sores, bruises, and eventually their organs begin to shut down. The next time you go to bite into warm crispy piece of fried chicken, don't think "Oh poor chicken, I wonder how it felt to get your head chopped off!" rather think about how miserable life would be for it if it naturally lived out it's life. Falling apart slowly and painfully.
So many people were asking about why/if we chop up beautiful chickens when really we don't. We keep these and they eventually die of naturally causes.
Just a little info if you've ever wondered where your chicken meat comes from.

Finally I've Weighted in

And....
Well....
I....
Have not lost or gained any weight!! In hindsight.... it's what been three weeks since I last weighted in? So I think like my mom said, I gained weight then burnt it all off. So officially? I'm back on path.... again. Officially this time. Another post'll be later. I think. Bye Bye!!