Can I Have a Medical Leave for a Broken Heart?

From school? I guess not since it was more of a self inflicted heartbreak. I know why it's called having a Crush because when you find out that they are infinitely happy with someone else it Crushes you. I knew it would happen, I hoped it wouldn't, but it did. It was the same one who I thought I saw in town and well it was confirmation and I fell ridiculous for hoping it wasn't. I thought I would keep my composure but I didn't when I went to bed. It just let it out and damn it felt good. Would of felt better if I had someone to let it out to but beggars can't be choosers right?
Well for more shitty news I gained .9 lbs. Thank God it wasn't more but still it was a gain. I'm super determined now though because of my broken heart. For once I'm not sitting there eating ice cream and crying my eyes out like this:

http://b1nd1.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=120#/d2h750d

 (P.S. Check out the link, B1nd1 is an amazing artist)
Instead I want to loose the weight. So if someone comes along that I like I will have the confidence to talk to them AT LEAST!!  The last few days haven't been real good either, I got sick so exercising has been crap. I got a few minutes in on the BowFlex yesterday and 31/2 miles today on the bike. eating has been on track for the most part so it's been good.
Well that's all I have to say hehe. I feel okay emotional and sickness wise so... lets hope tomorrow is better.




Tootles,

Good Workout and PAINTS!

If you don't already know I'm an art student and always will be. But today I finally got my paints!! I have two canvases and some obscure colored painted but I went and got the "rainbow" colors and some glitter!! Yay!! I'm going to pain tonight maybe but when I finish it I'll scan it and show everyone!!
In other news I had a GREAT workout today but my eating.... sucked. It's like when I'm hungry and craving stuff it's like my mind goes blank. Lately I've been working towards fitting into this dress I own from my 8th grade graduation. It's really beautiful and timeless but I don't fit it. If I can't get the dress for my CDC then my goal will be to fir into that again.
I kicked ass with my workout today, I biked for 30-40 minutes then walked for another 20 then did my Bowflex for 10 minutes. That was good.
This is also my 100th post...
IDK WHAT TO DO!! I wish I could do a giveaway but I don't have anything and if I did I don't have the money to cover postage.
soooo.... OH
Does anyone want to get a picture done for them? I'm not too good with life like or animals but I can do some nifty stuff... I don't know if anyone would be interested but yeah that's all I can do lolololol.

Anywho Evanescence day 18

Your Star by Evanescence Fan Video

Tootles,

BowFlex Update and All this Stuff

I've gone up 5lbs from my previous amount of weight, I went from 25 to 30 which is awesome, I'm still only doing 40 lbs on the resisted sit ups and my lower back has been killing me all day.
For dinner I made Shrimp stir fry, shrimp, pea pods (idk what kind), green beans, and mushrooms in a garlic sesame sauce. It tasted like take out from some family owned Chinese restaurant!! I know how to make some kind of Asian dish now!!
In other news... well there's not much other news.... hmmm. OH I have no school this week! Yay!! So yeah that's about it. Oh and Evanescence day 10.

This is Lithium by Evanescence. Another great official video by Evanescence, you need to watch it.

Tootles,

Eat More Chocolate, Have Less Strokes

Yeah I saw this on this mornings news that said women who ate more chocolate were less likely to have a stroke. Hahahaha I like it.
Anywho today was intense workout day. I biked at least two miles, but most of it was uphill. It was gradual and it sucked but I felt really accomplished by the end and was able to fly down the other side. I only got off once to walk my bike up the hill. Then after I walked a half a mile afterwards. Needless to say I was sweaty after and I did a few minutes on the bowflex after. I really hope this is all paying off. I'll be weighing in on Friday so it will be a whole week. *fingers crossed*
Other than that I had an awesome day at school, had fun. I also finished my math which is awesome. All my teachers liked my hair, said I looked very Rosie Riveter which was cool since that was what I was going for. So all in all a good day!!

Day Four of Evanescence Month with My Immortal

Tootles,

Day Three!!

Of Evanescence month!! Yay! So before that I guess I should recap my day. I started out waking up at noon, as usual since last night I turned everything off at 9:30 and did fall asleep until 1 FREAKING AM!! God I try to get to sleep early but what happens? My brain doesn't shut off!! So yeah, hopefully tonight I'll go to sleep! Other than that it's raining so no bike ride and I'm forbidden from my treadmill by my doctor because of my knee. So onto the BowFlex I went and had a nice workout. Thank God for that thing or I would be stuck on the floor doing normal sit ups and shit. So yay!!
Anything else.... nope think that's it.
Onto the music!!

Day three I present Bring Me To Life

Tootles,

Oh Boy!

I feel so happy today!! I worked my ass off today!! Isn't this always how it is? You start out and you feel awesome? Like a honeymoon period of a workout plan. But anywho I found out I can ride a bike!! I am so happy! I can finally go fast again! Since I can't run. It was so nice to feel the breeze and fly by the places I used to huff past on foot. I got to fight up the small hill, it was so funny, since I was out in public and my brother was riding in front of me I was huffing and puffing up the hill, making myself not get off and walk it up and saying (quietly and partly in my head) "For all those people who think you can't do it, to show people I'm not just a fat ass who eats hohos and watches tv all day, for all those skinny bitches who look at me like I'm lower than them, to all those shirts that don't fit!" and I got up it and got to fly down the other side. The best part of riding a bike. After about a half hour of that I got to get on my BowFlex and do that for a half an hour. So a solid hour of workout today and controlled eating.
I like this because after all the dreading and sadness of gaining I can finally get back to the real deal.
So after that it is the end of the workout segment and onto
DAY TWO OF 23 DAYS OF EVANESCENCE!!
Presenting Everybody's Fool by Evanescence

Tootles,

31 I Mean 23 Days of Evanescence

I came up with this a few days ago, I wish I had done it earlier so I could do a full 31 days, but since I didn't here are 23 days of my favorite band of all time.
I've loved Evanescence since like 9.... maybe 10 years old.
The band is an Alternative Gothic genre so, in the spirit of Halloween I thought I'd post the videos and songs of, in my opinion, the best band on earth.
But before that though today was my second day on the bowflex and I think it was great today. I think what happened yesterday was that I wasn't into it very much, I was still not eating right (I had like seven pieces of bacon, yeah I know) so I just didn't have a good workout. But today I felt it, it was a good workout and I could feel my muscles working. So yeah that was nice and I started eating right again. YAY FOR STARTING GOOD!!

And now here is Going Under by Evanescence kicking off day one!!

Got my Ass Kicked by an Inanimate Object

Okay not that much.
Arm wise it was quite a workout, stomach... not so much. I think when I get better and have better form I will burn it more but for now it was a good start.
I didn't put much effort either so hopefully it's not going to be as disappointing as it seems today.

Other than that I didn't do much, but I did do something though....
I did *gulp* before pictures!!
DUNDUNDUN!!
Find them Here

Tootles,

OOhhhhmmmmm.... OOhhhhmmmmm...

Shhhhh

I'm trying not to freak out.
I haven't exercised in God knows how long and I have to get weighed at my doctors appointment. Oh dear lawdy. I think I'm more disappointed in myself about not finding the time to exercise, I know I have been using our completely hectic scheduled but really I should be trying harder.   I just need to take a few breaths, relax and plan. Tomorrow night I might be able to finally get on that bowflex and use it, if not Friday is the day I plan on doing it. This weekend is *knock on wood* freed up so I hope this is the time to start again.

In Christmas Dress Challenge, well I bet you can guess how that's going. I don't want to give up, I want to look good in that dress but I don't think that I'll be able to do it by Christmas!!

In good news I have October break coming up in two weeks, what does that mean? I have free range to work out as much as I can. So once again let's take a few OOOOHHHHMMMMM moments.
There we go.

Shopping Day!!

Gosh I am so proud of my mom and I!!
We go on a huge shopping trip every month for food. Now usually we go and whatever we see that we like we pick up and throw it in the cart, I think this is why our eating has been so bad cause we say "Oh that looks good! Throw it in the cart! Oh yeah totally lets get that!" Then we get home with mostly just snacks rather than real meals and they end up being mostly junk.
But today we planned meals on the way down, I got a cool new app on my phone just called Recipes and I believe it's by cooks.com or some site like that. You can look up recipes and then create a checklist of the ingredients you need to buy. So I have two dinners lined up and got the ingredients. Then other than that I bought some Fiber One + Antioxidants Yogurt Berry something-or-other. Tea for sleeping better, tomorrow is start over day and I am hella ready.
Our shopping cart to car to fridge is stocked with fresh veggies and healthy grains.
I'm excited and had an awesome day. Tomorrow I'll try out the bowflex and maybe take some before pictures.
SO all in all a great start to a new beginning/rebirth lololololol.

tootles,

I Have the Best Bloodlines EVER!!

So the main parts of my heritage are Irish and Italian (of course naturally beefy people right ugh!) and today instead of going camping for my birthday we went to the Celtic Festival!! I've been talking about this for the past few days. We finished my outfit today and I wore it, I'll try and find the cord to download the photos from my camera since it has run away and I can't find it.
It was amazing there, the people, the atmosphere, the food, the music, everything was WONDERFUL!! I had so much fun I got to get a fairy blessing and placed a wish on the tree for the fairies to take and make true!

I totally believe in fairies I'm kind of like those crazy alien believers but cooler.
But anyways I had an amazing time, if you haven't heard of the Young Dubliners you suck cause their awesome and I just saw them in concert cause they were playing at the festival. They were amazing and if I find the cord I'll upload some of their awesome songs that they played.
It was pretty awesome.
In other awesome news we got our bowflex today!! OH I'M SO HAPPY!! Of course I might not get to use it till fricken Friday since I will be thrown into another hectic week. But I'm totally pumped for it. If I have time I'll set it up and watch maybe part of the dvd or read the workouts or whatever. I'm pondering whether or not to write down my progression with it on here. I read an article thing on ehow for beginners with bowflex and how you should record each session so that later on you can watch your progress. I might as well post posts about them and then have a page recording my progress. I might also be changing formats/layout so if things change on my page don't panic.
That is the awesomesauce shiz that has happened.

Tootles,

Bad Dreams and Blur of a Day

Yeah today sucked, well not in "I had a horrible day" but rather in "I'm so flippin tired I'm going to fall over" kind of way. I went to sleep at 11 and woke up at like 10, that should be more than enough time to sleep. Well when you have bad dreams and wake up twice its not such a great sleep. So I wake up and like I feel like a total zombie. All day like "Ahhhhrg what?" then I would fall asleep... no not really but I felt like it.
2 days and counting till BowFlex
Christmas Dress Challenge, on the eating end, it's going great,  but the work out part not so well.
Celtic Festival dress going well!!

Tootles,

Just a Bit

Some little things about now. I realized something weird, I keep thinking of my final goal reaching an event, like it's planned and will be coming soon. Like a movie or show. I don't know how to feel about this, am I just waiting for the weight loss to come on its own or am I just excited? I don't even know. Its so strange how you can feel something emotionally yet not know why or what it means.
So yeah that's it, started sewing today, hopefully it will be done by tomorrow night or friday morning. I'll post some picture of that and the festival along with (and don't hold me to this) before pictures for my weight loss. I admire all those who can take their pictures and post them openly. That is one of my biggest fears of weight loss but hey we all have to get over them right? So yeah that's whats up. Lets hope for a good weekend!!
3 days and counting till BowFlex!!

Tootles,

BowFlex Update and Celtic Fair

I have two pieces of news. The first is WE ARE GETTING THE BOWFLEX!! AND I LEARNED HOW TO SPELL IT! So yeah that's awesome. A completely new unused bowflex with the training dvd. All that for free from a friend (Who is totally fit anyways) who doesn't like looking at it in his bedroom anymore. For the most part right now I don't care what my mother thinks about it since mentioning it she went quiet and cranky. So Whatever I will use it. She wants to throw a hissy fit well then *talk to the hand* anywho I'm really excited for it, we're picking it up on Saturday so that is going to be the awesome hugh ass starting day or restarting day for it. Yes I'm moving the restarting date again.

Weight Watchers.... really?

One last think before I get onto more exciting news. A friend well really my Aunt she is so close to us, took this picture of a slice of Weight Watchers bread. So all of those who are on it and it works good for you but I think it's kind of a farce (I love that word!!) I mean this is just hilarious to me.

Anywho lets continue to the next bit of news, I'm going to the Celtic Festival!! I'm so very excited and the best part is I'm going to be dressing up! We bought some fabric today and we're going to work on it all tomorrow. I'll take some pictures after we buy the bodice on Friday since that's one thing we don't want to make ourselves, it's so hard to make one that we might as well leave it to the professionals.
So that's that. Good news all around. Hopefully some more good news later on this week.

Tootles,