From school? I guess not since it was more of a self inflicted heartbreak. I know why it's called having a Crush because when you find out that they are infinitely happy with someone else it Crushes you. I knew it would happen, I hoped it wouldn't, but it did. It was the same one who I thought I saw in town and well it was confirmation and I fell ridiculous for hoping it wasn't. I thought I would keep my composure but I didn't when I went to bed. It just let it out and damn it felt good. Would of felt better if I had someone to let it out to but beggars can't be choosers right?
Well for more shitty news I gained .9 lbs. Thank God it wasn't more but still it was a gain. I'm super determined now though because of my broken heart. For once I'm not sitting there eating ice cream and crying my eyes out like this:
(P.S. Check out the link, B1nd1 is an amazing artist)
Instead I want to loose the weight. So if someone comes along that I like I will have the confidence to talk to them AT LEAST!! The last few days haven't been real good either, I got sick so exercising has been crap. I got a few minutes in on the BowFlex yesterday and 31/2 miles today on the bike. eating has been on track for the most part so it's been good.
Well that's all I have to say hehe. I feel okay emotional and sickness wise so... lets hope tomorrow is better.
Don't get all excited, but my brother and sister were offered by a modeling company to go to their studio (of course). My dream is to model but I NEVER thought I could, now that I'm loosing weight I thought it might be something for the future.
My sister (bless her heart) asked if I could come to their "try out" or whatever it's called, probably to indulge my little sister the lady said I could come, she also probably didn't think I was 206lbs. Another thing is my sister said their company works on the show "Shake it Up" for Disney. That's when my mood changed on the subject. They work with Disney?!
I wish I was farther along in my weight loss journey so I could at least have a chance at showing them what I've got. They'll probably take one look at me and go "She's got a pretty face, but she's not exactly what we're looking for," ya know in the way they talk like you're not in the room. But at least hire my brother or sister!! Modeling for Disney would be great for them and hopefully maybe great for me down the line.
I don't know what to expect on Saturday. Of course if it's near 4 I won't be going because of my Haunted House duty.
Can I just go off and fantasize for a minute?
Can I just pretend like it will go on like a dream and happen like I want it too?
Okay
We will walk in and they will see all three of us together and hire us on the spot. We will then be whisked off to LA where we'll get our pictures taken and sent to Disney who will like us so much that they call us before we walk out the door of the studios. They'll hire us for a new sitcom or something and we'll get our paycheck immediately and become famous and have a great Christmas and pay my grandmother off and our debt and whatever and live happily ever after, right RIGHT?! Then I will get hired to do movies for Disney after college.
Yeah.
I wish.
Oh I didn't work out today again.... I know
Evanescence day 17
Snow White Queen
Yeah today sucked, well not in "I had a horrible day" but rather in "I'm so flippin tired I'm going to fall over" kind of way. I went to sleep at 11 and woke up at like 10, that should be more than enough time to sleep. Well when you have bad dreams and wake up twice its not such a great sleep. So I wake up and like I feel like a total zombie. All day like "Ahhhhrg what?" then I would fall asleep... no not really but I felt like it.
2 days and counting till BowFlex
Christmas Dress Challenge, on the eating end, it's going great, but the work out part not so well.
Celtic Festival dress going well!!
Some little things about now. I realized something weird, I keep thinking of my final goal reaching an event, like it's planned and will be coming soon. Like a movie or show. I don't know how to feel about this, am I just waiting for the weight loss to come on its own or am I just excited? I don't even know. Its so strange how you can feel something emotionally yet not know why or what it means.
So yeah that's it, started sewing today, hopefully it will be done by tomorrow night or friday morning. I'll post some picture of that and the festival along with (and don't hold me to this) before pictures for my weight loss. I admire all those who can take their pictures and post them openly. That is one of my biggest fears of weight loss but hey we all have to get over them right? So yeah that's whats up. Lets hope for a good weekend!!
3 days and counting till BowFlex!!
Unique, harmlessly eccentric, nerdy, witty, and I would like to think fashionable... well at least when I want to be. I have two sides to me, the quirky and somewhat dark while the other side is obsessed with rainbows and Disney. I am the proud mamma of a beautiful yellow lab Vinny. I live with my two siblings and parents. I have moved 5 times in my years only 4 that I remember. I love pizza and soda. My idea for a perfect date would be a night in playing video games and eating pizza.
Okay I'm not writing this for a dating site lets get on with it.
I love animals but I love to eat meat even more. I'm fascinated by the paranormal but don't worry you wouldn't guess it by the way I look and act. I'm normal. For the most part.
Don't be deceived by my seemingly happy and perfect life. I am not perfect by far. I come with my own baggage and problems. I've experienced loss, disappointment, pain, frustration, and much much more.
Believe me, I'm not perfect, I can relate, so I hope you can sit back and enjoy my blogs. Thank you!!
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